Hard Truths You Should Know Before Becoming Successful: A Seven Part Series - Part 2

If you have been following me on LinkedIn last week, I shared a multi-part series, based on an article I absolutely loved from Benjamin Hardy, Bestselling author of Willpower Doesn’t Work. If you missed Part 1- here it is. I wrote about how this article resonated with me, as I strive for success both personally and professionally.

Today we look at five new hard truths about the journey to success. Enjoy and I encourage your comments!

1. Every Aspect Of Your Life Affects Every Aspect Of Your Life

Human beings are holistic — when you change a part of any system you simultaneously change the whole. You can’t change a part without fundamentally changing everything.

Every pebble of thought — no matter how inconsequential — creates endless ripples of consequence. This idea, coined the butterfly effect by Edward Lorenz came from the metaphorical example of a hurricane being influenced by minor signals — such as the flapping of the wings of a distant butterfly — several weeks earlier. Little things become big things.

When one area of your life is out of alignment, every area of your life suffers. You can’t compartmentalize a working system. Although it’s easy to push certain areas — like your health and relationships — to the side, you unwittingly infect your whole life. Eventually and always, the essentials you procrastinate or avoid will catch up to your detriment.

Conversely, when you improve one area of your life, all other areas are positively influenced. As James Allen wrote in As a Man Thinketh, “When a man makes his thoughts pure, he no longer desires impure food.”

We are holistic systems. Humanity as a whole is the same way. Everything you do effect the whole world, for better or worse. So I invite you to ask:

“Am I part of the cure? Or am I part of the disease?” — Coldplay

2. Competition Is The Enemy

“All failed companies are the same: they failed to escape competition.” — Peter Thiel

Competition is extremely costly to maximum product reach and wealth creation. It becomes a battle of who can slightly out-do the other for cheaper and cheaper. It’s a race to the bottom for all parties involved.

Instead of trying to compete with other people or businesses, it’s better to do something completely novel or to focus on a tightly defined niche. Once you’ve established yourself as an authority over something, you can set your own terms — rather than reactively responding to the competition. Thus, you want to monopolize the space in which you create value.

Competing with others leads people to spend every day of their lives pursuing goals that aren’t really their own — but what society has deemed important. You could spend your whole life trying to keep up, but will probably have a shallow life. Or, you can define success for yourself based on your own values and detach yourself from the noise.

3. You Can’t Have It All

Every decision has an opportunity cost. When you choose one thing, you simultaneously don’t choose several others. When someone says you can have it all, they are lying. They are almost certainly not practicing what they preach and are trying to sell you on something.

The truth is, you don’t want it all. And even if you did, reality simply doesn’t work that way. For example, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I want my family to be the center of my life. Spending time with my wife and three foster kids is my top priority. As a result, I can’t spend 12 or 15 hours a day working like some people. And that’s okay. I’ve made my choice.

And that’s the point. We all need to choose what matters most to us, and own that. If we attempt to be everything, we’ll end up being nothing. Internal conflict is hell.

Although the traditional view of creativity is that it is unstructured and doesn’t follow rules, creativity usually occurs by thinking inside the proverbial box, not outside of it. People flex their creative muscles when they constrain their options rather than broaden them. Hence, the more clearly defined and constraining your life’s objectives the better, because it allows you to sever everything outside those objectives.

4. Never Forget Where You Came From

It’s easy when you achieve any level of success to believe you are solely responsible for that success. It’s easy to forget where you came from.

It’s easy to forget all the sacrifices other people have made to get you where you are. It’s easy to see yourself as superior to other people.

Burn all your bridges and you’ll have no human connection left. In that internal cave of isolation, you’ll lose your mind and identity, becoming a person you never intended to be.

Humility, gratitude, and recognition of your blessings keep your success in proper perspective. You couldn’t do what you’ve without the help of countless other people. You are extremely lucky to be able to contribute in the way you have.

5. If You Need Permission To Do Something, You Probably Shouldn’t Do It

My father-in-law is a highly successful real-estate investor. Throughout his career, he’s had hundreds of people ask him if they should “go into real-estate.” He tells every one of them the same thing: that they shouldn’t do it. In fact, he actually tries talking most of them out of it. And in most cases, he succeeds.

Why would he do that? “Those who are going to succeed will do so regardless of what I say,” my father-in-law told me.

I know so many people who chase whatever worked for other people. They never truly decide what they want to do, and end up jumping from one thing to the next — trying to strike quick gold. And repetitively, they stop digging just a few feet from the gold after resigning the spot is barren.

No one will ever give you permission to live your dreams. As Ryan Holiday has said in The Obstacle is the Way, “Stop looking for angels, and start looking for angles.” Rather than hoping for something external to change your circumstances, mentally reframe yourself and your circumstances.

“When you change the way you see things, the things you see change.” — Wayne Dyer

You are enough. You can do whatever you decide to do. Make the decision and forget what everyone else says or thinks about it.

Part 3 is planned for next week, and I think you will continue to find the next five points as insightful as the rest. Enjoy your week, and have a great one. I would love to hear from you in the meantime, post your comments, thoughts or get in touch with me directly at: skrawitz@savills.ca.

-Best,
Stan Krawitz